In my goal to search for a new identity, I opted to try something I never dreamt of having before. Tattoos. Although I already had piercings, having a tattoo is a big NO NO especially for my dad. So a week before getting myself one, I tried to talk to him and tested the waters. At least, if he had any violent reactions or firmly stated that I can't have one, I wouldn't risk him getting a heart attack when I get them done.
Me: Dad, I already have a tattoo.
Dad: What? I told you that's forbidden! You can't work abroad... or you seem like you got out of jail.. or...
Me: I'm old enough to decided on what I want!
Awkward silence .....
Dad: It's all up to you. Just don't regret it and don't say I didn't warn you!
The following week. I had my first 2 tatts done. :)
|Red Star And Kanji symbol for Strength|
|Better version of my STAR|
It was really difficult for me to decide on what to put first. I don't want some cutesy stuff that I will regret someday. I wanted my tattoos to be meaningful.
I was so obsessed with stars anyway, so why not put it on my skin instead? It was originally a red one but I didn't like how it looked so a week after, I had it redone and changed it to black and added a bigger star. For me, it was time to realize my potential to do better and greater things. I'm destined to shine no matter how many heartaches I've gone through. The five points are: faith, hope, love, wisdom, and courage. All I need to survive when life is unfair. I'm the smaller star and God is the bigger star. The one who guides and leads me to the path that I need to walk on.
The second one is the Japanese symbol for strength. I needed to be reminded of how I was once weak and because I wanted to surpass my pain, I should be strong enough to pull myself out of my misery. No one else can ever do that for me. I should not allow anyone to hurt me anymore.
A month after, I wanted something bigger. I wanted something that would mean a lot to me. My supervisor back then suggested a phoenix. I looked up and checked what it symbolized and saw this, "RISE FROM THE ASHES" ... I thought it over... and it's perfect!
Few weeks later, I felt that there's still something missing. I wanted more! After seeing the movie Eat, Pray, Love, I said to myself, I wanted my own mantra. Words that I would treasure all my life. Thus the birth of ....
Live. Laugh. Love.