Saturday, February 20, 2010



I was wondering how I can share my thoughts online. But it was too scary for me. You see, I’m the type of person who wants to keep things private. There were lots of things going through my mind like, would someone even care to read it?

Im a Mass Communication graduate. In school, I used to write different plays or skits. I was so creative at that time. But when I started working, I was only able to use it for like 6 months when I’ve become an editorial assistant. After that, I switched to a different field. I’ve been exposed to Sales for more than 8 years.

When I came across this competition, i saw it in and read more blog on , it drove my curiosity. I’ve just started blogging but have read numerous blogs online. Would I even stand a chance over bloggers who’ve done this for years?

I love food. So it’s my most popular search on the web. Whenever I hear about a certain restaurant, I would immediately search for it online and look for blogs to check if the menu and service gets my money’s worth. It would also help me get the easiest directions since I’ll just be commuting from QC. And as I sat down on the restaurant’s cozy sofa, I would recall what bloggers would recommend to newbies like me to order and the taste and budget would consistently be right on target.

I do remember one time when I thought no one else understood me, I just sat down in front of my laptop, venting out thru my stat messages in my FB account. When I remembered that, in previous years, the best thing to calm my nerves would be to read a book. But as I searched my room, no book was to be found. So I Googled into finding something to read and I came across several inspirational blogs. Some were stories of survival, some shared their favorite quotes or heroes and how they have lived their lives with those in mind. Some reminisced funny and memorable experiences that’s diversified from various situations.

That’s when it occurred to me that blogs weren’t as meaningless as I thought them to be. They can take me to places that I’ve never been before. The links, photos and videos would really help me to choose the best vacation spots in and out of the Philippines. Others were like self-help books! They can help and inspire others. There were also helpful tips that ranged from simple to complicated how to’s . If there’s a collections of books made for DUMMIES, the blogs can be considered as first hand experiences that can help newbies!

So I braved myself to publish my first ever blog. It wasn’t easy. Too many topics running through my mind. Then I remembered that I’m a member of various LGBT groups. It occurred to me that many people, especially teens, are undergoing various phases of their individuality. Main point is to come out in the open or not.

I chose to write a piece that I’ve withstand. Narrated how difficult it was to live a double life. Feared that no one would understand nor my family wouldn’t accept me for who and what I am.

One way or another, I know that those who’ve read my blog have come to realize that it’s ok to be different. That somewhere, someone had encountered the same issues and had overcome the obstacles that kept them imprisoned for a long time. I would want to write more blogs about this topic that would tackle different issues like relationships, rights, discrimination, road to self-discovery and many more.

I would not limit myself to what I can blog about. I’d consider writing anything under the sun! (Food, vacations spots, etc) Blogs that would stir my readers’ interests. I aim to broaden my knowledge on how I can further improve my craft because I would really want to make a career out of blogging!

With the scholarship that I can possibly win from , I’m determined to contribute to change the world. I’ve started my campaign to inspire others but I do believe that I still have lots to learn. And I aspire to gain it from the best.

(This entry won 2nd Prize for the AIM scholarship. Thanks to and Anton Diaz )

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Out and Proud!

Firsts are often times the most difficult. I had mixed emotions as to what my first blog would be. Would it be reviews on certain restaurants since I LOVE food so much! Or would it be about places that I've been to? It can also be about personal experiences or sharing my views and opinion on a certain topic?


Since it's gonna be the first, I need to come out with a big BANG!

So. what better way to start my post than to tell you how my comming out story ...

Yup, i'm part of the L world.. not a typho error. I know you're thinking of the L word. I've watched the entire series too. Most lez i know liked Shane's charater (Kate Moennig) while others liked Bette (Jennifer Beals) better.

In high school (I've attended an all girls' school from HS till College) I've managed to evade the feeling up until my junior year. I've had the occasional crushes but never really had the guts to engage in a relationship. On my fourth year, that's when I decided that, 'Lil miss nice girl has to come out of her shell'.

That's when I started dating and realized eventually that this relationship is the right one for me! Girls are just so much easier to understand, please, confide into, etc. Haha! I know I'm being biased since I really haven't tried the 'normal' way....

I had some relationships that lasted for years and some short lived. Although I've learned to accept my sexuality, there's still one problem. How would I come out to my family?

It was a difficult time. You see, my parents were well known for their strong religious beliefs. Wherever I go, someone would recognize me and ask for my parents' whereabouts. So it was a challenge for me living a double life.

But one day, I mustered enough courage and talked to my mom. She actually offered me to be 'prayed over' by her friends. I told her that I wasn't possessed by a demon! I disclosed everything. Let m skeletons come out of my rusty and dusty closet. My feelings, my fears and how I long for her and dad to accept me. I've never seen her cried that much. But I had to be firm and show her that THIS is my choice. She worried that I may end up alone. I assured her that I've accepted that possibility and I'm ready whatever the future holds.

With my dad, explanations were no longer necessary. He knew right from the start that I'm capable of deciding for myself. He trusted me that much! He doesn't approve but he understands. I hugged him tightly and thanked him. The mere fact that I don't have to hide my true identity anymore was enough.

Friends can either help you or destroy you. Some were supportive while some eventually distanced themselves. We just have to find people that are open-minded and see us for what we really are and not judge us for our preference.
It was a roller coaster of emotions. But really, before we get others to accept us, we need to accept ourselves first. This is not a disease. We may hear a lot of hurtful comments or nasty jokes but bear this in mind.... No one has the right to put us down nor discriminate us.

Happiness is a matter of choice. And I choose to be different.

I. Love. Women.

Deal with it!

(You can share your own coming out story... I encourage you to create your own blogs :) Peace!)