Live.I was always on the safe side. Have been known to be the "traditional and conservative one". Even though I was in this kind of relationship, I've never seen myself as extraordinary. I was and have always been a conformist... reluctant to change. So reinventing myself was a big and bold step for me. But I knew I had to try. I had to be different from who I used to be.
I started focusing on what I have. And at that time, the only thing I had control of was my job. Even if I had only 2 hours of sleep each day, I would be at the office an hour or two before my schedule. I left work 3-4 hours after my shift. I had to create a diversion.
At first, I recalled myself being associated to the "WALKING DEAD". Had to fight back the tears each time someone asked me with a simple "How are you?" I can't even bring myself to say "I'm okay" because I knew that deep inside, I wasn't.
Next, I focused on what I can do more... dedicating my time - Done. Then I had to fully give my job more attention, more passion. I tried to learn new things everyday. Learning Photoshop was so difficult because I can't even do a decent drawing using Paint! But with the help of my colleagues, slowly, I was enjoying what I was doing and was getting better everyday.
A few months later, I learned that there was an opening for a Sr. Associate. I tried my luck and hard work paid off coz I got the post. I worked closely with supervisors and associates where I got the right amount of load that I needed. I almost had no time for myself. I have never been this driven in my life to do and give my best. All in a day's work!
2 months after, a Supervisor post opened. I had my hesitations and doubts. Am I ready for more responsibilities? Do I have the courage to take this ride and breeze through new challenges? I have passed on several opportunities before, this was the perfect time!
I got nailed, battered, and tortured during my panel interview... Whew! One heck of an experience. I didn't expect anything anymore. It was better that I tried at least and should know my mistakes so when another opportunity knocks, I will then be ready.
Few weeks passed and one day, I was called to meet with our HR to be given feedback. Apr 25, I can still remember the date. Because before I went to the office, I prayed hoping for good things to happen especially on this day. I have always dreaded the 25th of every month because that used to be our monthsary. I would want to scratch off all the bad memories and start remembering this date as something wonderful.
And I got the post! Another chapter of my life started and a door to new and exciting possibilities opened. New learnings, new obstacles, new people.. what a great way to start my new life!