Out and Proud!

Firsts are often times the most difficult. I had mixed emotions as to what my first blog would be. Would it be reviews on certain restaurants since I LOVE food so much! Or would it be about places that I've been to? It can also be about personal experiences or sharing my views and opinion on a certain topic?

Nah!

Since it's gonna be the first, I need to come out with a big BANG!

So. what better way to start my post than to tell you how my comming out story ...

Yup, i'm part of the L world.. not a typho error. I know you're thinking of the L word. I've watched the entire series too. Most lez i know liked Shane's charater (Kate Moennig) while others liked Bette (Jennifer Beals) better.

In high school (I've attended an all girls' school from HS till College) I've managed to evade the feeling up until my junior year. I've had the occasional crushes but never really had the guts to engage in a relationship. On my fourth year, that's when I decided that, 'Lil miss nice girl has to come out of her shell'.

That's when I started dating and realized eventually that this relationship is the right one for me! Girls are just so much easier to understand, please, confide into, etc. Haha! I know I'm being biased since I really haven't tried the 'normal' way....

I had some relationships that lasted for years and some short lived. Although I've learned to accept my sexuality, there's still one problem. How would I come out to my family?

It was a difficult time. You see, my parents were well known for their strong religious beliefs. Wherever I go, someone would recognize me and ask for my parents' whereabouts. So it was a challenge for me living a double life.

But one day, I mustered enough courage and talked to my mom. She actually offered me to be 'prayed over' by her friends. I told her that I wasn't possessed by a demon! I disclosed everything. Let m skeletons come out of my rusty and dusty closet. My feelings, my fears and how I long for her and dad to accept me. I've never seen her cried that much. But I had to be firm and show her that THIS is my choice. She worried that I may end up alone. I assured her that I've accepted that possibility and I'm ready whatever the future holds.

With my dad, explanations were no longer necessary. He knew right from the start that I'm capable of deciding for myself. He trusted me that much! He doesn't approve but he understands. I hugged him tightly and thanked him. The mere fact that I don't have to hide my true identity anymore was enough.

Friends can either help you or destroy you. Some were supportive while some eventually distanced themselves. We just have to find people that are open-minded and see us for what we really are and not judge us for our preference.

It was a roller coaster of emotions. But really, before we get others to accept us, we need to accept ourselves first. This is not a disease. We may hear a lot of hurtful comments or nasty jokes but bear this in mind.... No one has the right to put us down nor discriminate us.

Happiness is a matter of choice. And I choose to be different.

I. Love. Women.

Deal with it!

(You can share your own coming out story... I encourage you to create your own blogs :) Peace!)